teaming up
Skills
Gratitude
Will save your marriage
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Let’s be honest. Gratitude doesn’t always feel easy when you’re doing laundry (again), or watching your partner scroll while you’re mentally juggling bills, meal plans, and that weird rash on your kid’s leg.
But you know what? Gratitude is the medicine.
When I started looking for what was right in James instead of what was lacking, everything softened. My heart. My tone. Our connection.
Because what you water, grows. And gratitude? It’s sacred water.
I see you, I'm here for you!
Gratitude Matters More Than You Think
When we stop noticing the good, our brains default to what’s missing. It’s biology. But if we don’t interrupt it, we build a case against the very person we love.
Gratitude is how we interrupt the case-building.
It says, “I see you. I appreciate you. I’m for you.”
It’s not passive. It’s active spiritual warfare against resentment.
(Even when you're annoyed)
How to Practice Gratitude
Start where you are. And start small.
Say “thank you” when they bring you coffee—or breathe next to you.
Write one thing you appreciate in your journal every day.
Say it out loud. Even awkwardly.
You’re not ignoring what’s hard. You’re magnifying what’s holy.
Gratitude isn’t fake positivity. It’s deep perspective.
Say Thank You
(Want more Connection?)
Try this:
A text in the middle of the day: “Just thinking about how grateful I am for you.”
A sticky note on the mirror.
A nightly gratitude ritual before bed.
Want support rewiring your brain (and relationship)?
Book a 1-on-1 coaching session or come to a healing couples retreat and experience the power of gratitude in action.
Also check out this powerful article on gratitude and connection from Laura Doyle.
Real-Life Moment:
The Gratitude That Changed Everything
I remember watching James help our son with his homework—patient, kind, present.
Instead of zoning out or critiquing, I whispered, “You’re such a good dad. Thank you.”
He smiled. Relaxed. Melted.
I had no idea how much he needed to hear that until I said it.
Gratitude builds bridges where silence builds walls.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you
A Simple Gratitude Prayer to Start Right Now
Say this out loud right now and see how you feel at the end:
Thank you for this breath. Thank you for this day on this miraculous, beautiful planet. Thank you for the people I love—even the ones teaching me the hard lessons. Thank you for the roof over my head, the warmth in my chest, the memories tucked inside my soul.
Thank you for the sound of laughter, for music in my ears, the breeze on my cheeks, the color of the sky, my body that carries me, and every feeling I’m allowed to feel.
Thank you for the smell of newborn babies, the softness of hugs, the moments I get to start over, the love I’ve received, and the love I still get to give.
Thank you for the chance to love again today. Thank you for showing me what’s still possible. Thank you for reminding me that every moment can be sacred and special because it is my beautiful life.
FAQ
What if I don’t feel grateful right now?
Start with something small and true. The sound of their laugh. The way they fixed the squeaky door.
Can gratitude fix betrayal or broken trust?
Gratitude is part of healing—not a band-aid. It can soften hearts, but deeper work may be needed too.
How can I get my partner to show gratitude too?
Model it. Make it contagious. Gratitude given often comes back multiplied.
How do I express gratitude without sounding fake?
Be specific. “Thanks for taking the trash out” hits different than “thanks for everything.”
Isn’t this just ignoring the problems?
Not at all. Gratitude gives you the strength to face problems with love instead of blame.
What if I’m the one doing everything?
Even more reason to anchor yourself in gratitude—for your own integrity, peace, and power.
