Why Every Relationship Needs a Care Cycle for Emotional Breakthroughs
Okay, babe, let’s get real. You ever have one of those moments where your partner breathes the wrong way and you’re ready to pack your bags, grab the kids, and live off-grid with a goat named Reba? No? Just me?
Well, listen—I’ve been there. Not just once or twice, but let’s say… enough to write a book, build a retreat center, and still have enough material for a Netflix series. That’s why I want to talk to you about Care Cycles.
It’s the tool that helped me stop spiraling, heal wounds deeper than my hot tub (and that’s deep), and truly connect with my husband again. This isn’t just relationship fluff. It’s survival. It’s sacred. And girl, it WORKS.So, What’s a Care Cycle Anyway?
Think of a Care Cycle as your emotional spa day. It’s the moment you stop mid-fight or meltdown and go, “Wait. What’s really going on inside me?”
Instead of launching into the usual “you never listen / I can’t take this / where’s the chocolate” rant, you turn inward. You invite God into the room—even if you’re in pajama pants crying on the kitchen floor.
Healing starts here. And not the band-aid kind. I mean rip-the-roof-off, sacred-foundation-level healing. And if you’re curious about other tools we use, don’t miss our guide on Heart Talks.
Why do we need care cycles?
Because emotional triggers are sneaky little monsters. One minute you’re fine. The next, you’re crying over a peanut butter lid.
But that lid? It holds deeper meaning. It’s not about the peanut butter. It’s about not feeling seen. It’s fear. It’s the old wounds whispering, “You’re not safe.”
Care Cycles help us sort through all that.
They guide us lovingly into clarity, purpose, and connection. They break the loop of the Reactive Cycle explained by Focus on the Family.
How to Do a Care Cycle (Without Overthinking It)
Let me break it down for you, Coach Daegan style:
- Step 1: Pause the Drama Put down the spatula. Close the group chat. Go lie down if you have to.
- Step 2: Breathe You’re not in danger. You're just having a moment. Your breath is your anchor.
- Step 3: Ask the Sacred Question "God, what do you want me to know about this right now?"
- Step 4: Listen With Your Heart Not your ears. Let your soul respond. That soft, clear voice? That’s truth.
- Step 5: Love Yourself Anyway Messy mascara? Ugly crying? Emotional chaos? Still lovable. Still worthy. This is the cycle. It’s not complicated. It’s divine.
Download Your Free Self-Care Workbook
I created a beautiful FREE Self-Care Workbook to guide you through this process.
It’s full of journal prompts, tips, and healing reflections. Whether you’re curled up in fuzzy socks or hiding in your closet from your toddlers, this is your safe space.
The Time I Nearly Left… and a Care Cycle Saved Me
One time (okay, many times), I wanted to walk out on James. Like, full-blown Hallmark-movie scene: keys in hand, suitcase in the driveway, kids looking like “Mom’s gone wild.”
But I stopped. I laid on the bed and asked my Creator: “What is TRUE here?”
Not what my pain was screaming.
Not what fear was whispering.
But what was divinely true.
The answer?
“That love is still here. That you are safe. That you are seen.”
Cue the waterworks. Cue the sacred reconnection. Cue the beautiful, healing sex that followed (yep, Care Cycles are foreplay if you do them right!).
Why This Works When Other Things Don’t
Because Care Cycles aren’t just emotional. They’re spiritual. They bring your soul back online.
They unlock emotional self-awareness, calm the nervous system, and reconnect you to the divine—and to your partner.
They also help if you’re healing from trauma.
Want More Peace, Passion, and Miracles in Your Marriage? Do This:
- Set aside sacred time for reflection—even five minutes.
- Use your workbook to track triggers.
- Let your partner in, slowly and sweetly.
- Laugh at the messy parts. Cry when you need. And always, always invite God in.
Watch Me Guide You Through It
Not a reader? (Hey, I get it.) Come sit with me and let me walk you through a Care Cycle on video. This is your chance to feel the process, not just read it.
Final Words from Your Favorite Coach
Darling, you are not too broken. Your marriage isn’t too far gone. Your heart isn’t too heavy.
You just need tools that work. And Care Cycles? They freaking work.
So try it. Next time the tension hits, don’t explode. Exhale.
Ask the divine to meet you there.
I’m with you every step of the way.
You’ve got this.
Love harder. Heal deeper. And if all else fails—come visit me for a healing relationship retreat at the farm, I’ve got a hammock and a cold drink with your name on it.
With wild, healing love,
Coach Daegan 💛
